


Easy Queasy

by goatboy



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Vomit, i havent written for homestuck since 2015 so please be gentle, i swear this isnt a fetish fic, john just doesnt know how to contain his feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-10
Updated: 2017-03-10
Packaged: 2018-10-02 09:16:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10214330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goatboy/pseuds/goatboy
Summary: John does not have a crush on his best friend's older brother. Not at all.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Oohh gosh, this is my first dirkjohn fic ever and my first homestuck fic since 2015 and I'm nervous! I know it's a weird premise and it's just a weird plot. Please comment or something to let me know how it was!

You've only ever thrown up three times in the sixteen years that you've been alive. Two of those have involved your best friend's older brother, Dirk. You swear up and down to Dave that you don't like him, it's just a freak accident each time it happened. 

The first time you ever threw up, you ate too much cake for your birthday and since sworn off the devil food. Despite that, your father continues baking cakes and sweets nearly all day. Where he finds the money for that, you'll never know. 

The second time you ever threw up, you were thirteen and at your best friend's house. You and Dave were on the couch, eating watermelon chunks and watching movies. It's Texas, it's sweltering hot, and Dave's older brother, Dirk, came into the living room wearing a tank top, shorts, and ankle socks. He sat down next to you. Then he reached over you, smacked Dave upside the head, stole the remote, and changed the channel. Before you knew it, you were making a beeline to the bathroom. Faintly, you could hear Dirk ask if he smelt that bad as you puked your guts out. He didn't. He smelled like oranges of all things. You blamed it on eating too much watermelon, but you knew that wasn't the case. You steered clear of Dirk the rest of the night. 

The third time you ever threw up, you were spending the night at Dave's. You're fourteen this time. You had gotten up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. It felt like you were going to explode if you didn't get there in time. But you did and you relieved yourself quickly, not bothering to wash your hands. As you walked out, you bumped into Dirk, who was sleepily walking to the bathroom you were just in. Then you felt it starting to come up, you pushed him out of the way, and you went straight back into the bathroom. As you were hovering over the toilet, he came in and patted your back. You threw up again. You stayed at the toilet until he left, he mumbled something about peeing in the sink. You ran back to Dave's room and blamed it on the tacos you had that night, but you knew that wasn't the case. 

-

These days, you're sixteen, fairly certain that you're over throwing up, and still best bro's with Dave. The both of your were sprawled out on the floor of the living room, questioning the universe. You both were quiet for a time before Dave spoke out. 

"Hey, John," he said, looking over at you. You looked back. 

"Hey, Dave," you replied, he seemed nervous. Well, as nervous as a Strider gets. 

"You don't like my brother, do you? Because that'd be lame as fuck. I mean, the thought of you wanting to get it on with him is like some type of fuckin night terror." He said. You laughed. 

"Why would I like your brother, Dave? He's weird." You responded, but a part of you didn't believe that and you knew a part of Dave didn't believe that either. He nodded and popped off another question, this time about space and time or some shit. You two could spend hours talking like that, and you did. Until his brother came in and flopped down on to the shitty couch. You felt your stomach feel a little queasy, but it always did around him. That obviously meant that you didn't like him at all. Not one bit. That didn't stop you from abruptly getting up and going to the kitchen for some water. 

You drank from the faucet, like the rebel you are, and took a few long drinks. You turned off the water and leaned against the counter. You took a few deep breaths, trying to calm your stupid stomach. Shaking your head, you turned around and coincidentally ran into your best friend's weird older brother. He still smelled like oranges, but now he had the added on tangy scent of metal. He had freckles all over and you couldn't help but get a little flustered. Your stomach had that queasy feeling again and your knees were definitely not weak. 

He opened his mouth to speak to you, but he was cut off by you throwing up on him. You were, understandably, embarrassed as fuck and ran the hell out of that apartment. You ran all the way home, which was a few blocks away. You took out your phone and texted Dave, telling him you could never, ever again go over to his apartment or see his dumb, hot, weird older brother ever. Except you didn't add that part about his brother. This time, you had nothing but your feelings to blame it on. You shut off your phone and let the realisation hit you. You did, in fact, have a crush on your best friend's older brother.


End file.
